Teaching a beautiful redhead toddler how to get all the foam out of her babycchino cup.
The same little girl asking for bits of my omelette breakfast, the sweet cherry tomatoes in particular (she obviously has good taste).
“You can tell a lot about a woman from her hands,” so the saying goes. Being an habitual nail and cuticle biter, I never put much stock in this. I thought manicured fingers showed that you literally had too much time on your hands. Mine showed that I was stressed and trying very hard not to smoke.
I know plenty of beautifully proportioned women who never truly enjoy a slice of chocolate cake. They berate themselves and plan torturous gym sessions to atone for every calorific bite. It’s like those “waiting for marriage” girls who lose their virginity on a drunken one-night stand. Oh the guilt! The shame! Did I really put that in my mouth last night?
And that’s where the problem lies — food is pleasure and puritanical nations have taught people that pleasure is sinful.
Some of us take to the sea like a duck to honey-glaze sauce. Some even profess that “hey, shoo, wow, I’m just so at one with the ocean man”.
Unfortunately this means we feel entitled to do whatever we like without being hindered by other creatures who live there. So what if they have fins, gills and a swim bladder, I can hold my breath for one minute and do breaststroke!