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I’ve been told Carne is the place to take someone before taking them. There is something about all that meat, ranging from blushing pink to bloody red, that’s undeniably sexy.

Served bare and moist, stripped down, there are no sauces or unguents to taint the predatory consumption of flesh.

Being a Carne virgin, I started slowly with asparagus enveloped in rocket and pecorino shavings, enhanced by the somewhat deviant addition of a fresh egg resting warmly, suggestively, on top.

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But then the true purpose of the evening arrived, undeniably primal in its heady succulence. I eagerly took it between my lips and tenderly rolled every morsel of Wildebeest in my mouth, extracting the delicate pungency of fresh game on my tongue.

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The seductive experience was accented by fine green beans and the lightest creamy mash, its paleness emphasising the savagery of my carnivorous undertaking. I rested frequently to imbibe silky sips of Jordan Merlot and abandoned myself to the lustful pleasure of crème caramel.

This is how meat should be savoured, like two lovers devouring each other until swollen and sated. I’m already anticipating future desire at Carne.

9 thoughts on “A Carnal Experience

  1. Thanks Nafisa. Restaurant reviews should be interesting, the tone and style reflecting the experience. Most are just brochure writing.

  2. A review as sensuous as the restaurant. Even the hostess is like a fine, buttery leg of something. Can’t wait to go back for a second meal there.

  3. I heard quite a few underwhelmed responses when Carne first opened. Perhaps they have taken it to heart and improved. I also want to try HQ, although I was put off by the shoddy service when I tried to organise my birthday there (eventually cancelled).

  4. I had a phenomenal T-bone at Carne and I’ve heard the skirt steak is good too.

    HQ…is losing it’s shine for me. First time I went there, I ate in the courtyard outside (tip: if you sit in the courtyard you can order from all 3 restaurants, Caveau, Caveau Deli and HQ). The steak (HQ’s only option…one cut that’s it) was excellent, but since I’ve been back it seems to get smaller and smaller with each visit. They have a sneaky tactic to ensure you don’t notice. HQ employ a guy whose sole responsibility is to serve you more fries just as you start to get through them. Eventually you can’t see the meat for all the potatoes.

    I also preferred HQ before it got all Punana and nightclubby with that pain-in-the-arse DJ RENE taking great Afro-pop tracks from the likes of Amadou and Mariam, smacking a bongo and purring “Groooovy” and calling it his music. pfff, putin de merde.

  5. Ha ha! “Smacking a bongo and purring ‘Groovy'”. I think I’ll go on a weeknight by the sounds of it.

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