Every year at Christmas time, thousands of South Africans insist on cooking and eating a dry, less flavoursome chicken because “it’s traditional”. For most, it’s the only time of year they’ll eat the giant American bird.

Why do people do this? We have our own giant flightless bird to eat. Ostrich meat is richer in protein, tastier and doesn’t take six hours to cook. It might not fit on the dining room table, but it goes really well with gravy and cranberry sauce (if you insist).

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I’ve always been slightly afraid of people who say sophomoric crap like, “My goal is to be a millionaire before I’m 30.” That’s not a goal. That’s insipidness masquerading as a goal.

Now if you want to write a book before you’re 30, that’s a goal. But hey, don’t beat yourself up about it if you don’t.

Too many people take life too seriously. They focus on climbing the ladder, getting the Beemer, becoming MD, etc. The reason they’re called ‘A-type’ personalities is not because A = Number 1, it’s because they’re completely anal-retentive.

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• Writing a short story, even though it was for a client.

• Seeing the new Hospital Bend freeway take shape.

• Seeing Cape Town Stadium all the way from De Waal Drive.

• A smiling old lady with a floral umbrella and matching raincoat.

• My mother chatting to me on facebook (she couldn’t even turn on a computer a year ago).

• The Aussie army dog found in Afghanistan after being MIA for 14 months.

• Planning our 3-month trip to America in 2010.

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It’s Darwinian and base, but people — men and women — take a well-groomed and shiny-haired woman more seriously than the one who wears T-shirts and shuns make-up.

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