Certain phrases irritate the shit out of me. Here are 5 of them for now; I’m sure many more will follow. Tell me yours.

1. Makes your eyes pop – I once heard a woman (girl) say, “That mascara really makes my eyes pop!” Cringe. Unless you are a beauty consultant, a model or the PR manager for said mascara, this is to be avoided like the make-up sale bin at Clicks.
2. On trend – “Trendy” was popular once. Then it was used to describe everything from hairbands to toothpaste – “for trendy white teeth!” So someone invented “on trend”. Technically it should be “on-trend” because it’s a compound adjective but nobody seems to do this.
3. You won’t be disappointed – This always sounds smug and hackneyed to me, like a diet pill infomercial. I want to reply, “Really? Are you sure? Can you guarantee that?” It’s incredible how many people say it with a completely sincere face too. I want to pat them on the head.
4. I must say… – I do this sometimes. I’m in therapy to try and stop it. It is the most superfluous preamble to a sentence and even politicians have started using it. Not a good sign.
5. Takes the cake – This one really… well, you know the rest. A cliche that’s not just untrue, it doesn’t even make sense (and I love cake). It’s bad enough when someone says this aloud, but when it’s used in writing I have an anaphylactic reaction.